I try to be very open and honest about where I'm at online. Yes, sometimes it's tempting to clean things up a bit too much, but who doesn't clean up a little when someone's coming over? We all try to put our best foot forwards if you know people are watching! There's a big difference in putting your best foot forward, and painting a completely false picture of yourself! THAT is what I refuse to do. Been there, done that, got my head out of my...well, you know ;). If I find myself doing anything even resembling that, I immediately call myself out on it!
I've had a rather colourful past online and after taking a break I committed to not coming back to blogging unless I could do it totally authentically. Not trying to scrub my life down and pretend to be better than I am, not getting involved in other people's drama, and not stirring up any of my own. Whatever anyone else may think of me, I am very happy with how I've grown and matured as a person since.
I know that looking at me now and look at me back then must be confusing to say the least! I don't blame you, I never in a million years would have imagined that one day I would be on the path I've found myself on. In fact, I recall getting into a pretty heated argument once with someone who believed as I do now (don't think they still do, but that's their path) and in my mind thought I'd thoroughly defeated their arguments. Big shocker that I would ever have to eat crow ;). To have pushed my beliefs on others SO VEHEMENTLY and SO OBNOXIOUSLY only to find at the end of my rope that I was wrong about many of them!
This is why I won't make my faith the main focus of my blog again! My walk is MY walk. It's a journey, not a destination. I thought for so many years that it WAS a destination. That I had ARRIVED. It was beyond humbling to realize that not only had I not arrived, I had barely even BEGUN! I am not going to HIDE my faith, but I'm not going to push it on anyone either. There's a big difference. If my faith is everything to me, it's going to colour everything I do, everything I talk about. So it's going to be seen and heard. However talking about my faith and how it affects my life is not the same as telling everyone else they must share my beliefs or they're going to Hell! I've given the judge's gavel back to it's rightful Owner and I am OFF the bench.
However, since my faith IS public, and it IS so different than what I used to push on people, it's understandable that people who have followed me years ago may be a little confused. I get it, believe me! While I won't get into a debate with anyone (those don't solve anything anyway), I would be MORE than happy to answer any questions anyone may have! Instead of making assumptions about it, ASK about it! Instead of talking about me, talk TO me! I would be MORE than happy to explain what I believe more thoroughly, and no, I won't preach at you or condemn you either! I've heard some pretty wild rumors out there lol. I'm not going to get involved in that (the internet seems to bring out the worst in people and nothing I could do or say will change that) but if anyone would like to know what's actually going on with me (my faith, my past, whatever), just ask! Leave me a question in the comments, or if you'd prefer to ask me privately let me know and we can chat via email! Or, if anyone would like me to make a post about what I believe and/or why, I'll do that too!
That's all I wanted to say, we will now return to our regularly scheduled program ;)